Eric Ortner is a real person.

He believes anything is possible.

If you can't do it right, fool people into thinking right isn't right, unless they are right, then you are wrong, which isn't right, right?

Believe's Jesus and God don't want to be thanked for touchdowns and people who talk in the 3rd person have no clue who they are.

He really isn't an egoistical bastard....really.